For the past three days I've been saying "goodbye" to my boys for three hours in the morning while they have some VBS fun. This means that for three hours a day, for three days, it's just been me and the girls. Boy, what an awakening! We've been having nice, quiet fun. It almost seems that I have to really try and rack my brain to find things to do with my time. Of course, this isn't actually true. I still have two babies to watch over. Two smiling faces to fuss over. I guess there is less pressure during the day. Fewer stressful times when more than two babies need something at the same time. It's been quite relaxing and will be relaxing for another two days.
But it's bittersweet. I miss my boys. The chaos that reigns the mornings. I miss the noise of their dinosaurs and airplanes. It's a small taste of what my days will be like this fall, when I send Orry to school full-time, five days a week and Isaac to preschool three days a week. It will be blissful, I know that. But I will cherish our time together even more. One of the things I love about sending them away is getting them back. They hug as if they haven't seen each other in a long time (maybe three hours is a long time to a child). This is something I love about brothers.
And when they get back together, they pick up right where they left off. But today, the place where they left off must have been a fight. Smiles were replaced with whines and tears, fists and feet. This is something I don't like about brothers. Disputes over toys, food, and territory. We've seen it all. Don't get me wrong, they really love each other and have no problem showing affection toward one another. They also don't hide their feelings from each other. So when one of them is mad, the other knows it. And they really only bicker with each other. Annie seems to be left out of the quarreling. Sure, she gets bothersome from time to time, but no fighting ensues because of it. So what is it about brothers?
The first set of brothers I know about are Cain and Abel. We all know how that ended. Throughout history brothers have been at odds with each other. Conversely, some brothers have worked together to acheive greatness (the Wright brothers, the Coen brothers, the Jonas brothers...?). So how can I raise my boys to be good brothers?
In searching for a good book that addresses this, I come up short. Plenty of books exist that discuss raising good boys. Even books that are geared toward moms and the journeys they take in raising boys. But what about raising a set (or more) of brothers that grow up to appreciate each other and treat each other with dignity and respect? Maybe I'm not searching hard enough. Can you recommend any good reads that deal with this subject?
I'll continue to search. In the meantime, tell me what you think led you to having a good/bad relationship with your brother. What characteristics do you think are necessary to cultivate into our boys to help them deal with their brother for a lifetime? What advice do you have for me, the mother of two boys and one set of brothers? I firmly believe in it taking an entire village to raise a child. I believe all the knowledge we need to solve our problems can be found in the experiences and wisdom of others, if we just choose to listen to what others have to say. So let's write this book together! Or just have a thought provoking discussion. Yeah, let's just stick with the discussion. I'm starting to get used to my blissfully, peaceful days!
